Creative Writing 1 – Glass Town: Tall Tales

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“Listen up you little rags. Your Mamas and your Papas won’t tell you this but I ain’t afraid of telling you the truth. You gotta find out from anyone, let it be Chovax”

Milton Chovax, brown leathery skin, and scruffy disposition, sat in his transport, his muscular arms resting on his bony knees. The young children, sat in front of him, with keen, clean faces, were entranced by his every word. He leaned in closer to his audience, his dusty beard, depositing its contents onto the floor. He opened his mouth, and, with noxious breath and biting drawl he spoke.

“You’re lucky you are. You have Mamas and Papas, looking after ya, feeding ya. Yet you have no idea what happens to the other kids, the ones who live nearer the middle of the Bowl. They got no family, no one to love them and every 4 years comes the great city, flying high above us, and it takes those unhappy children and makes them work. They put them in rooms full of millions of shards of glass, where they have to pick the pure from the dirty, every single day until they die. And when they burn the bodies, their skin twinkles”

The children gasp in unison and Milton Chovax rocks back in his chair and laughs before his dry rasping voice becomes a cough causing him to splutter into his hand.

A small girl with smart white clothes and red hair leans forward “My Mama won’t tell me about the floating city, she says it’s not right for a young girl to hear”

“Pfffft. There’s nothing but little rags like you getting taken up there. If anything you deserve to know more than anyone” Chovax wipes his mouth with a white napkin and sips from a long straw leading to a bag on his back.

“You know what…who wants to know more?” The children throw their hands into the air. Chovax smiles and leans forward in his seat.

“The mighty city in the sky drips condensation that scorches the earth, burning a scar in the land. The rusted machine that keeps the wealthy and the royal in their sky palace runs on raw radioactive energy which contaminates the moisture that drips onto our homes” His lip curls and his voice quivers as the children stare wide-eyed at him.

“As their engine burns with blistering heat, enough to keep the crystal community high above, below, millions of us go to war, they…”

“Kids, what have I told you” A slender woman with a pointy face pulls back a curtain letting light beam into the dark cabin. “You are not to talk to this man” She grabs the nearest child and gestures to the rest to leave.

“I was only tellin’ them about…” he begins

“No, I will not have you fillin’ their head with lies and stories” she snaps sharply.

“Ms, you can’t honestly think that what I tell them is a lie.”

“Of course, I do, you and every other one of you Dust folk. Stay out of here” The woman strides back into the light with her kids, leaving Chovax in his dark cabin. He ponders his dried hands for a moment before pulling back another curtain and entering his driver’s cabin. He twists a key for a few seconds and the engine of his large container transport growls to life.

He scans the world outside the windscreen, the sunlight shining into his dusty cabin. Outside, the wind blew delicately as the emerald trees danced in rhythm. He presses down on the peddle and the vehicle lurches forward, the vast quantity of vegetables and fruit in the container tumble over each other as the transport trundles out of the lush, bustling marketplace and onto the busy city street.

“Stories!” scoffed Chovax as his eyes flitted to a map taped to the inside of his cabin. “Where I’m going, you wouldn’t believe your eyes”

 

So there we are, just a beginning. I found it quite difficult to write cause I wanted to make it as good as I could but I think that If I keep trying to do that then I wont ever get anything done.

Let me know what you think, it would be very much appreaciated. Thanks 🙂

 

©Ben Homes – redflost – 2016.
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3 thoughts on “Creative Writing 1 – Glass Town: Tall Tales

  1. This is fab! I really enjoyed it and could visualise the whole thing plus the voices which made me really excited 🙂 The only thing I would say as constructive criticism is that it went from past to present tense, then back to past again – but that didn’t lessen its impact, I just notice those sort of things cos of my job (I proof-read all day!). Really, really good :’)

  2. That’s fantastic thank you so much 🙂 I will keep an eye on tense, I have Grammarly but that doesn’t help with that sort of stuff. Thanks again, means a lot 🙂

  3. Pingback: Creative Writing Plan | redflost

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